Reasons why I am not an outdoor gardener.

I admire outdoor gardeners, I really do. My grandmother was one and my mother is one. Yesterday was my mother's birthday and she didn't really want presents...she wanted me to help her weed. I said, "No problem!"

That was until I saw how weedy her garden patch was. She just moved to this house and the former owner was a widow and very, very old. Understandably, she wasn't up to regular weeding. So we spent 3+ hours just weeding. Backbreaking work - I rolled out of bed sore as a mother. However, my mom is a happy camper and got to plant her dianthus/lithadora(sp?)/marigolds/euonymus/etc.

This leads me to the reasons why I dislike outdoor gardening.

1. Bugs. Every summer, without fail, I get bitten up by mosquitos like I'm the last source of blood on Earth. Once, I was visiting friends in North Carolina and I got bit so bad I had bites the size of kiwis. I was not a happy camper being outside, prey to anything that bites.

2. There are also quite nasty bugs in outdoor soil. I can deal with a fungus gnat here or there, but I can't deal with random 100-legged bugs and scary looking spiders. I leave them alone because they're outside and that's their turf but that doesn't mean I like it!

3. Weeds. They're aggressive and strangle the actual plants you put down. They're also freaking impossible to get rid of without constant vigilance.

4. Easy, widespread bug infestations. Yes, they can happen indoors too but outside they're just asking for bugs to come and eat them up. I was trimming my mom's azalea bushes (so pretty!) and little did I know...each stem I trimmed had mealybugs under it. I HATE mealybugs. They were on her aucuba, too. I think I found the culprit, though - the neighbor has a creeping bush coming into the yard and it's infested. I cut it back the best I could and told mom to start spraying the bushes.

With houseplants, they do happen but you can isolate them and spray the crap out of them. 


5. On that note, you can move them. Don't like the bush growing in front of your house? Better have a shovel, or you're SOL. With my plants, I just move them.

6. Outdoor gardening can be back-breaking. My mother has bad knees and I have a bad back. Just being out there doing something as routine as weeding has us wrecked.

7. For some reason, outdoor plants don't really get me excited. I wish I knew what it was. Maybe it was because my grandmother has done it all before. Maybe it's because I know that eventually they'll get bugs or I'll have to replant them because they're annuals. Something about it does not pique my interest.

8. Lastly, you actually have to have some sort of space outdoors to garden. Mom's house in NJ has that in spades, but here in Philly...HAHA. That's funny. The nurseries here are big on vertical gardening because Philly backyards are the size of bathrooms...and if you have kids, that space is theirs.

Ah, that felt good. I really admire outdoor gardeners, but yesterday REALLY made me realize that it is not for me at this point in time. BTW, pruning a lilac tree is no joke. Beautiful tree, but yowza!

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So, I'm currently on vacation. I had scheduled this weeks in advance, and boy did I need it. I've been very stressed out. I haven't taken more than one day off in a year and a half so I think I deserve it. I haven't been near my plants for about 2 days and I'm a little anxious because some of my plants dry out that fast. I'm thinking about Mimi immediately because she gets super dry in a minute because she's in direct sun. Hopefully, I don't come home to anything bad. (I'm looking at you, mealybugs.)

I may be able to post more...maybe not. My vacation isn't turning out to be much couch-surfing. Until next time!