When plants die.

I have a story that kind of makes sense to my point, so here we go:

My very good friend Kevin graduated last night. He is officially a BSW, and probably going to go into the advanced-standing MSW program at Temple. We both met during our Intro to Social Work class, which affirmed his love for Social Work and my aversion for it. (I was trained in the discipline of Psych, which is harder and faster than Social Work. We're more about classifications and proper care/research as opposed to group work and policy. I respect it, but a lot of the students were of the mind that they can change the world, whereas Psych majors know we can help what's directly in front of us. I digress...)

I felt like a proud mom, sitting with my boyfriend and watching him walk. Not to get too personal, but when I met him he wasn't comfortable with himself. He had started coming out to more people and was very self-conscious. The changes he has made in the last few years have been amazing. I am so very proud.

It's been a very busy week for me (one spent almost entirely in the ER with a client) and so this was a good note in a very long, scattered week.

I come home, take the plants off the bed, check some of the plants that were just coming out of isolation. Mama, a Euphorbia suzannae, hadn't been looking too good. She had a bunch of pods upon purchase, and with the help of a euphorbia gardener, I tried to drench/let dry which she was working on her babies. Unfortunately, her pods fell off and weren't viable, but she stayed green. According the the gardener, that's OK. She'll grow and work up some more pods in the future. I can dig that.

Tonight, she looked a little lopsided. I went to check her root ball

and her whole head came off.

Underneath was mush. The dirt had a bunch of roots, but I guess Mama just a) didn't like how I cared for her or b) pulled a quick one on me. I don't know, but I kind of took it personally.

Then, I checked Trent, my Euphorbia milii. He has been playing this yellow leaf game with me ever since I repotted him in my faster draining mix. He was bought in a peat-based mix, which I hated, but I tolerated it until his root ball looked okay to transfer. He seemingly does not like this. I can tolerate old leaves falling off - Euphorbia tends to do that. However, yellow leaves continuing after I haven't watered you in a week...frustrating. It's an easy care plant, yes, but I do not understand. I did my regular watering routine and left it alone.

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So, something snapped within me. I started to throw out plants I didn't particularly care for anymore, plants I know aren't doing well in my apartment, and plants that were on their way. Sorry, I cannot deal with some of you guys right now. Not your fault. I hate to throw away a living thing, but if it's going to die a slow, awful death...I don't want to see it.

Instead of picking plants I like the look of...I'm going to try to focus on the plants I can care for and do well in my apartment. Plants die. I know this is a fact of gardening life. However, I know for a fact that I'm keeping everything else happy. I tend to take these things personally but the approach needs to change.

Stick to plants that work with you, not the ones you think look prettiest. Maybe I'm too busy most of the time to give some of the more needy ones the care they need. Either way, something will give.